Fw: Rude One liners ... Boom Boom !!!!!

 

 

 

Subject: FW: Rude One liners ... Boom Boom !!!!!

1)    I've just been gang raped by a group of mime artists, they did unspeakable things to me .........  
  
2)    I thought I'd be a gentleman and hold the door open for a young lady, two minutes later she said "Will you sod off I'm trying to have a crap!"  
  
3)    Brought the missus some crotchless knickers yesterday, It had nothing to do with a sexual nature, it was so she could get a better grip on her    
        broomstick ......... 
  
4)    Advice for Kate Middleton - If you get divorced make sure you wear a seatbelt .........  
  
5)    Now on sale at IKEA / LESBO beds, no nuts or screwing involved, it's all tongue and groove work .........  
  
6)    A Muslim has been shot in the head with a starting pistol, police say it's definitely race related ......... 
  
7)    Due to a water shortage in Ireland, Dublin swimming baths have announced they are closing lanes 7 and 8 .........  
  
8)    Ginger bloke goes to the docs about a rash on his bollocks. The doc says "how often do you have sex?" He says "Once or twice a year!" 
        The doc says "that's not a rash mate, its RUST mate". 
  
9)    I got a letter from Screw Fix Direct thanking me for my interest, but explaining they were not a dating agency ......... 
  
10)  Kate Middleton goes to the Queen and says "every time I suck William's knob I get indigestion", the queen says "have you tried Andrew's"  
  
11)  The lead actor in the local pantomime of Aladdin was anally raped by the gay genie on stage last night, to be fair the audience did try to warn him.